


tommy innit is a feral raccoon, he eats shoes

by loyislolee



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anarchist Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Angry Wilbur Soot, Comedy, Feral TommyInnit (Video Blogging RFP), Gen, Older Siblings Wilber Soot and Technoblade, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Parental Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Raccooninnit, This is just a joke, Tommyinnit is a raccoon, Twins Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, although there isn't any anarchy here :(, but there is tommy trying to bite someone's arm off, techno loves the chaos tommy brings, wilbur hates it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:02:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29332743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loyislolee/pseuds/loyislolee
Summary: tommy innit is a feral raccoon. that's it, that's the story. i was given 6 random words to write a story with.these are the words given, bolded when appear:- Terrific- Decided- Book- Toilet bowl- Coffin- Stinky socksenjoy :D
Relationships: Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Comments: 11
Kudos: 133





	tommy innit is a feral raccoon, he eats shoes

TommyInnit is a 3 year old toddler. He is a feral raccoon, his diet mainly consists of twigs and shoes. He is to be kept with a child harness, otherwise known as the baby version of an animal leash, at all times. There was this one instance where Phil forgot to put the baby leash on him and he ended up biting a family friend on his arm. The family friend had to go to the hospital. He is well-liked by his anarchist big brother Technoblade, as he causes chaos wherever he goes. His other brother Wilbur Soot however, very much dislikes him. He thinks the devils cursed this child and incorporated him with a gremlin. 

Well, like him or not, Phil, Techno and Wilbur have to live with the raccoon. Where did Tommy the raccoon even come from you ask? Well, they don't know. Like raccoons do, they just show up all of a sudden and now they have to live with him. Frequent trips to the park are a must for the feral child, or he might just bite your arm off if you forgot. When Phil is asked by others about Tommy, the only word he can say about him is that he’s a ‘ **terrific** creature’. Scientists wanted to know how a toddler could be this feral, but when they heard he was 3 years old, they tipped their hats off to Phil and walked away. 

Today, Phil  **decided** it was Technoblade turn to walk- I mean, take the racc- child, out. He was quite excited, he was practically beaming with enthusiasm. As always, he remembers to put on the baby leash and bring essential baby items, such as a first aid kit, a napkin, a shoe and a bottle of milk. Once they were out the door, the raccoon in hand ran on all fours. Technoblade drinks a can of diet coke as he watches the child attack a family of four. It was only when he almost bites a woman’s arm off did Techno throw a shoe to the child, not wanting to get into prison for the fourth time this week. He eats a sandwich and watches Tommy running around the park, cackling when Tommy steals a bag of carrots and potatoes from someone who just returned from the grocery store. Techno asks the raccoon for the potatoes before letting him run off again. Suffice to say, it was one fine Sunday evening at the park.

Wilbur was in the library reading a page of his favourite  **book** when it suddenly disappeared from his hands. He looks down and sees a gremlin running away from him, only looking back to flip his middle finger towards Wilbur. He was going to shout at him before he was immediately shushed by people in the library. He looks back at Tommy before realising he’s already gone. He tries his best to be quiet as he runs around the library in a panic, looking for a toddler. He isn’t panicking about him, no no, he’s panicking about people who're going to lose their arm today. When he doesn’t see him anywhere, he hears a small screech from above. Wilbur looks up and is greeted by an upside down demonic gremlin, who’s currently hanging from the chandelier. Suffice to say, it was one long Monday evening at a library as he returns home with scratches all over his face.

Phil was home alone as it was a morning on a school day. He was cleaning the house, humming his favourite tune while he dusted off the bookshelves. He was finished cleaning the living room and decided to go clean the bathroom. He mops the floors, rearranges the items on the sink when he hears something running towards him. He didn’t have the time to close the bathroom door as Tommy let himself in, promptly running towards the  **toilet bowl** . Phil didn’t have time to react as the child climbed up it and was leaning his head into the water. His eyes widened in panic as he swiftly picked the kid up and pulled him away from the white porcelain. If he was a second late it’d be the kid’s 5th time this week. He sighs as he ruffles the kid’s blond hair and puts him in the living room.

Coffin. How do you want me to write about coffins? It was Halloween night and Phil thought it’d be a good idea to let a 3 year old go trick-or-treating with Wilbur and Techno. It wasn’t. Well, it was. It was both. It was nice because Tommy managed to scare every house by screeching at them, letting them get way more candy than the brothers were supposed to. It wasn’t nice as the little gremlin managed to eat half of them, broke the child harness and ran around the neighbourhood. It wasn’t nice when Techno only laughed at Wilbur as the toddler pulled on his hair like a blood-sucking demon. It wasn’t nice when both Phil and Techno were laughing at Wilbur. It was however nice when Wilbur successfully locked the demon in their fake  **coffin** decoration outside. Wilbur slept soundly with a smile on his face as the kickings and muffled screamings of a child was heard. 

Wilbur and Techno were doing the laundry today. They separated the tops from the bottoms and washed the tops first. The laundry machine dinged as it finished the wash. Wilbur getting them out and putting them into the dryer. When it finished Techno was in charge of taking them out and folding them once it fully dried. They repeated the same steps until they finished washing the laundry for the day. But nothing was ever finished when a blue eyed blond toddler was running around the house. Techno was folding the socks when he noticed there was one pair missing, which was Wilbur’s favourite socks. He already knows where it is as he hears the yelling from Wilbur, which was later followed by him chasing a child around the house. The child in question was biting a pair of  **stinky socks** in his mouth, not wanting to let it go. Techno pays them both no mind as he sits in the living room watching TV, eating potato chips and listening to the background noise of the ongoing manhunt between a 3 year old and his much older brother.

  
  


_ The End. _

**Author's Note:**

> ye


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